


I Am Standing Alone (But I Can Shock You)

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 11:30:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10463919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: A peek inside the mind of a monster.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Black Sabbath song "I", it fits Kimbles perfectly.

**_I am anger/Under pressure/Locked in cages/A prisoner/The first to escape._ **

 

My hands are locked in this ridiculous hand yoke and all I can do is grin to myself as time eases slowly by for me.  Don’t they know I could bust out of here at _any_ time?  Don’t they know I could scratch one of my half transmutation circles into the wall with the Philosopher’s Stone I carry in my throat, touch my hand to the wall and bring this whole place down on top of our heads if I wanted?

It’s funny how the State Alchemists are all collared monsters that the military expects to properly behave.  Just like the chained tigers at the circus, all it takes is the right opportunity and they will turn on their handlers as easily as they stand on their back legs and do their tricks.  I don’t wear a collar anymore, despite the board that keeps my palms from touching.  I’m simply waiting for the opportunity to observe the army from another point of view, which I’ve been promised by one of the monsters in hiding, the homunculus called Envy who acts as a go between for his master and I.  The time is coming soon when I’ll be free, and that gives me something to look forward to…

Being free to release all my rage at being thrown in here after behaving only as a monster could.  After all, they were the ones who wanted me to use my alchemy for warfare rather than municipal infrastructure as I had planned.  I just didn’t know I would enjoy being a killer.  Who knew blood tasted so sweet?

 

**_I am wicked/I am legion/Strength in numbers-/A lie!/The number is one._ **

 

Freedom, I’m finding, tastes as sweet as blood.  The homunculus they call Envy retrieved me from the prison and I got to stop in at my favorite diner before going on to meet ‘Father’.  The food had gone downhill since I’d been there last, but strangling the teenage punk I caught jerking off in the bathroom made up for it.  Didn’t even get my scarf dirty!

Envy escorted me to meet with Bradley (who is revealed to be Wrath) and their master, some being known as Father.  My first assignment is to track down an Ishvallan murderer named Scar and turn him into dust.  Turns out they’ve been trying to catch him for months, but not even the Hawk’s Eye or that pussy Mustang could get him.  They both lack focus, and I’ve had a lot of free time to hone mine.  Funny how six units of men couldn’t catch one brown skinned piece of shit.  Maybe it’s fate’s way of forcing a one-on-one duel to the death between the Crimson Lotus Alchemist and the Last Ishvallan.

I can guarantee I’ll get him.  He’ll never even see me coming…

 

**_Yes, I am giant/I'm a monster/Breaking windows in houses/Buildings of glass._ **

 

I don’t have nightmares.  All of my dreams are filled with the symphonic sounds of explosions, screams of terrified women and children, breaking glass, the distant _pop_ of gunfire, and the smell of charred flesh.  I wake up aroused with my mouth watering and my guts trembling with sexual desire.  An everyday human cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to have the power of hundreds of souls coursing through your body.  There isn’t a woman (or man) on this planet that could provide me the same satisfaction as the Philosopher’s Stone does.  You feel like God- giant, powerful, and nothing or no one to stand in your way.

With the dreams still fresh in my mind, I grasp myself and quickly finish.  This is how it always is, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my sexual habits.  The last time I was with another person, I pressed my hands together and sent a sobbing Ishvallan woman’s head splattering against the walls when I came.  The red and gray that covered the walls of her quaint home really spruced up the plain desert colored décor…  But when I discovered I had bone shards from her skull in my dick, I decided I would only practice self-love afterward.

 

**_Rebel rebel/Holy outlaw/Ride together/Don't try it/The power's in one._ **

 

They call the Ishvallan criminal Scar, from the mark that he acquired from one of my explosions.  I like that I’m the one that put that ridiculous X shape on his face.  The army tells me he assassinates alchemists in the name of his god.  I wonder how it feels to attempt to live righteously in direct violation of the spiritual dogma you profess to follow.  Though I don’t believe in any god other than myself, being a hypocrite is the worst kind of sinner across all the religions, and this Scar is the biggest I’ve come across so far.

It seems he’s begun gathering others around him as of late.  Dr. Marcoh is among his followers, as well as an AWOL lieutenant and a Xingese child.  Supposedly the kid and Scar practice a different kind of alchemy that they believe will take down the rest of the State Alchemists, at least that’s what those homunculi tell me.  All I can say is they better not let me catch them.

I alone will take them all off the planet.

 

**_I am virgin/I'm a whore/Giving nothing/The taker/The maker of war._ **

 

The Rockbell girl is an idiot.  I spoke with her on the way to Briggs and made her believe I was genuinely concerned about her after the death of her parents (which I was _not_ ) and that I felt she was doing important work backing up Ed’s automail and supporting her childhood friends on their journey (which I could care less, really…).  I won her trust by making her believe I am an honest do-gooder with only the most innocent of intentions, when in reality I thought about murdering our escort and raping her in the snow, that way her virgin blood would be most vibrant in contrast to the stark white landscape. 

However, she is an important pawn in getting Edward Elric to cooperate with what Father wants to do, so I’ll content myself to playing the naïve and inexperienced military investigator so that she suspects nothing.  But if there comes a time when she isn’t needed anymore, I will part her pretty legs and show her what a monster I really am.  If the Elric boy is around still, I’ll gladly accept his anger in my direction for having ruined his little sweetheart.  Short of killing his brother, that’s the only thing to truly bring his wrath to life.

And I’d love to see him fight just once with the reckless abandon of a man with nothing left to lose.

  
**_I'll smash your face in/But with a smile/All together/You'll never/Be stronger than me_.**

 

I had no idea it would be this easy to cross the Drachman border the way I did.  I put on the act of a defector, of a man full of Amestrian secrets and a desire for revenge, _and they bought it_.  They didn’t even take the time to verify any of my information.  There were alarms and gruff men barking orders I couldn’t understand and suddenly there were ten thousand men in formation marching on Fort Biggs.

As I surveyed the bloody crest, my face began to hurt from smiling so wide.  An entire command wiped out by idiocy.  And such beautiful deaths they all had: screaming and blood spattered and bone splintering… such a symphony.  I love playing god, truly I do.

 

**_I am hunger/Feed my head/All together/You'll never/Never make the hero bleed._ **

 

I am certain of it now…  I thought I was the monster, but there are two more heartless and cruel than I: Father and Pride.

All I ever wanted in life was to observe human idiosyncrasies, like hypocrisy, self righteousness and morality versus instinctual urges; and to taste the blood of anyone I liked.  A simple dream, really.  But Pride made it very clear to me that I would not be able to continue my personal work on those two subjects.

His black fingers pull me in and I’m devoured, but it’s painless and rather lackluster for someone as vicious as he is.  I was thoroughly disappointed.  But then again if I wanted to die as violently as some of my victims, I should have died at Wrath’s hands.  I’m sure that old man wouldn’t have just gingerly tugged me into his body.

At any rate, I’ve monitored this vile thing from both the inside and the outside now.  And while Pride is definitely a cruel beast without a scrap of mercy in him, he’s boring and a hypocrite- no better than most of the humans I’ve surveyed in my life.  I had been made to think that these homunculi were perfect beings, but in the end they are no different than us.

Now that Pride is slowly dying all around me, and the sound of the tormented souls filling my ears is quieting down, I honestly hope that Fullmetal saves the day.  That kid has been the only person I’ve personally met to stay true to himself and his goals and not forsake them or accept anything less than for his personal desires to be fulfilled, and he didn’t trample over anyone on his way.

I can rest in peace knowing that there was among our kind at least one true hero: Edward Elric.


End file.
